When Friendship Births Discipleship
By: Sharon Hughes
As urban women of faith, there are many places in the Bible we can look to examine the topic of discipleship. Within scripture, the people God uses to point us to discipleship may in fact unearth our perceived ideas of what Biblical discipleship looks like.
I don’t know about you but I often picture an older woman, having all her stuff together; a great marriage, well-behaved children and self-employed, teaching a younger woman all of her glorious ways. (Now that I am a wife and a mom, I realize just how unattainable that reality is.) Discipleship seems to move directionally from point A (the older woman) to point B (the younger woman) and not the other way around. But in the Bible that is not always the case.
In the first TUCW podcast on discipleship, Kristie Anyabwile describes discipleship as, “Deliberately walking alongside another sister to equip and encourage her to live for God’s glory.” Kristie reiterates that discipleship is an intimate, life on life relationship that is rooted in friendship.
While an unlikely pair, and maybe not typically deemed a discipleship relationship, Naomi and Ruth provide us many windows into this model of relational discipleship. These two women were different ages, different ethnicities, and from different socio-economic landing points. Even before the tragic life circumstances that left each of them widowed, they were bound to one another in a relationship. As a result of their relationship, Ruth clung to Naomi and in some respect Naomi couldn’t object to her determination to stick by her side.
Ruth and Naomi’s improbable relationship took root when Ruth decided to cling to Naomi. As a younger woman, have you ever pursued an older woman as a part of God’s plan for your life, even if at first, she doesn’t see it herself? Just like Naomi, it may take some convincing.
When Ruth and Naomi returned back to Bethlehem, they did life together. And let me tell you, it was not about the older woman having it all together. Naomi was not herself and wallowed in a state of mourning. From Naomi’s own mouth she said, “Do not call me Naomi, call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went away full and the Lord has brought me back empty.” (Ruth 1:20-21). I’m guessing Ruth sat around the table with Naomi many nights seeing her empty stares and wondering if she would ever snap out of it.
Slowly we begin to see Naomi come around and engage with Ruth. On a practical level, Ruth and Naomi needed to be fed so they brainstormed how to get barley. Naomi then affirms Ruth’s idea to go glean in Boaz’s field. When Naomi sees the kindness of Boaz demonstrated, and ultimately the Lord’s protection, the cloud of depression seems to lift and she becomes Ruth’s voice of courage when Ruth goes back into the fields and later lays at Boaz’s feet. I’m sure Ruth and Naomi spent many nights exchanging emotions filled with fear, hope and vulnerability but ultimately reminding each other to step out in faith and follow the Lord.
Ruth and Naomi’s relationship seemed to blossom into a genuine friendship that ultimately pointed to the love and friendship of the Lord. They began with a messy multi-directional relationship with all the boxes of differences checked off the list. However, they wrestled through material needs together, sat in vulnerability together, took steps of faith together and ultimately experienced the Lord’s redemption together.
Discipleship is not void of relationship. Discipleship is not one directional. Discipleship is not clean-cut. And just like Jesus showed us with his disciples, some of the sweetest discipleship relationships include friendship. Before you step into someone’s life and try to meet spiritual needs and physical needs, have you, in humility and with God’s grace, entered into a friendship?
A true discipleship relationship will point us to a relational God who asks us to come as we are because he sees us, knows us, and wants to do redemptive work through us. In addition, true discipleship makes an impact on people around us. The women who knew Naomi through all of her ups and downs, who were able to observe the relationship that she shared with Ruth, did not point to Naomi or Ruth or even Boaz as the redeemer. They were able to see the hand of the Lord. The Lord is their Redeemer!
“Then the women said to Naomi, Blessed be the name of the Lord, who has not left you this day without a redeemer, and may HIS name be renowned in Israel! He shall be to you a restorer of life and a nourisher of your old age.” Ruth 4:14-15
Ruth and Naomi shared life on life discipleship. It was often messy but in the end their friendship was all about God’s glory being revealed.
For more on discipleship, tune into the TUCW podcast: Discipleship U: 101!
